|
 Gwendolyn C. Llwyd, a
famous billionaire, autocrat, plutocrat, and irritable snob (with a
propensity for water blisters) used to enjoy all the appointments of an
endowed life after stealing the Llwyd family plastic turkey platter from her
Great Auntie Grizellda and auctioning it off as 19th Century Austrian
Crystal on E-Bay for a large undisclosed sum of money. She was then seen
partying in a posh palace room just below the penthouse suite of Le Behemoth
Hotel And Biggie Tax Write Off chain in Switzerland, thus missing Auntie
Grizellda's funeral. Several debauched days...? later, and occurrence of
great proportion occurred. Ms LLwyd was seated in the morning room of her
suite enjoying her usual morning bourbon and tea when someone flushed a
penthouse toilet in need of repair, causing water to cascade down the wall
for several minutes and mar the beautiful yet somewhat tasteful wallpaper.
When the leakage had stopped Gwendolyn was certain she saw in the puckered
and wrinkled wallpaper--the face of a grilled cheese sandwich (or was that
"cheeses"). So--just like her idol, G. W. Bush, she knew, she too,
must turn her life around (or at least talk about it incessantly on network
TV, preferable FOX, farely balanced) and perhaps even give something back to the vermin and swell of sordid
souls lining Government Social Agencies and sewer gratings. Ever since this
miraculous occurrence, Ms. Llwyd has been the soon-to-be-fired illustrator
for TopPun.com where she feels she can be a voice for these vile, wretched,
disgusting, pile of beings, or whatever is Left.. As for Auntie Grizellda? What the F__k; she's
dead.
Signed:
Rowan
Zeta-Jones Cantaur
The Archbishop of
Canterbury
uuuuhh, well....Donald Trump was out of town
To
contact Gwen:
aegean_stables@yahoo.com
(my
servants will respond to your e-mail promptly) |
